A Survival Guide for Dealing With a Bad Boss - wsj 7/11/22
A Survival Guide for Dealing With a Bad Boss
Life is too short to work for jerks. Here’s what to do when your boss is a micromanager, bully or completely MIA
By Rachel Feintzeig
July 11, 2022 12:01 am ET
They hover over your shoulder, or send you a Slack every 10 minutes to ask about the report that’s not due until next week. They’re a screamer, a bully, an expert at lodging passive-aggressive jabs, generally in front of all your colleagues. Or maybe they’ve just ghosted you, leaving you to figure out the new gig on your own.
As long as there’s been work, there have been people who make it miserable for those underneath them. And the recent spate of job-switching has given rise to some job regret. Desperate for talent, many companies swiftly promoted new, sometimes unproven, managers and at the same time accelerated their hiring processes to snap up prospects before rival employers did, says Cate Luzio, the founder and CEO of professional development organization Luminary.
Saying yes to a job was easy for many recruits while they were being wooed with raises and promotions, she says. Harder was knowing what it would actually be like working for that stranger on the Zoom interview. Nearly three-quarters of adults surveyed this year by The Muse, a job-search and career-coaching company, said they felt surprise or regret after starting a new job.
Ms. Luzio has recently seen workers show up to new gigs only to realize they actually have three bosses, or have managers pull back on promises of remote work. Meanwhile, the boss remains the gatekeeper to everything from choice projects and bonuses to your all-around happiness.
It can get better. Here’s how to survive, change, leave or overthrow your particular type of bad boss, according to those who’ve done it.
The Micromanager
Overbearing bosses can’t bear being unsure of how a project will turn out, and can feel no one else cares as much as they do, says Janet Ahn, a social psychologist and executive at training firm MindGym. This type of boss needs assurance that the work will get done well. Tell them you share their sense of urgency and understand exactly what needs to be done for the task to be considered a success—right down to the font they prefer.
Subtly, you’re communicating, “It’s getting done, you don’t have to watch over me, but I do hear you,” Dr. Ahn says.
Then, flood them with information before they even ask for it. Mary Abbajay, president and co-founder of professional-development company Careerstone Group LLC, recommends sharing frequent status updates—even daily lists of priorities you’re focusing on.
“Become their ally,” she says. “All they need is information and control, so you just give it to them.”
In the moment, it’ll feel awful, she says. But as you build trust, they’ll loosen their grip.
“You gotta find their pain point and cure it,” she says of bad bosses.
The Checked-Out Boss
Maybe they’re busy, or burned out, or just very trusting. In any case, it’s not great having a manager who ignores your questions or is missing when an assignment goes awry.
This boss needs you to take the lead. Be tenacious, Ms. Abbajay says. Book a series of meetings on their calendar, more than you think you need, since they might cancel half, she warns. In the invite, lay out your agenda and follow through. Preferably in 15 minutes or less.
“Be succinct, be clear,” she says. “And be gone.”
Aim to primarily communicate via their favorite medium, whether that’s email, text or in-person. If it’s the latter, keep a running list of all the items where you need their input and carry it around for when you run into them in the office.
Cover yourself, too. If they’ve been MIA while you’re wrapping up a big project, lob over a breezy email noting that it’s due tomorrow at 5 p.m. and you’re attaching a draft, Ms. Abbajay says. Note that if they have any questions they should let you know by 4 p.m.
And branch out. When Dr. Ahn, the social psychologist, was assigned advisers who were aloof and indifferent during her years as a student, she set up coffee dates with other professors and researchers she admired.
“It feels a little vulnerable,” she acknowledges. But forming more connections will help ensure your career keeps moving forward even if your boss isn’t advocating for you.
The Toxic Whirlwind
Could you, should you oust your terrible boss? It’s worth a try, says Robert Sutton, a Stanford University professor who’s written books about working for jerks.
“Employees sometimes forget companies don’t want bad bosses,” Dr. Sutton says.
Start by documenting misbehavior and its impact. Save emails where the boss is spewing demeaning insults. Keep a diary. Record the date, time and what happened. (For example: The boss’s outburst during a meeting sent a colleague to the bathroom in tears.)
Then rally a posse, Dr. Sutton says. Have your colleagues record diaries, too. He recalls an animal-control officer who first went to her boss’s boss to complain about her verbally abusive manager. Nothing happened. Then she and her colleagues went back with their diaries. Suddenly, the team had a new boss.
The key is to find a person in power, ideally someone who has warm relations with a posse member. It’s risky; your group might not have enough pull to prompt change. Prep your résumé and look out for other opportunities too, Dr. Sutton says, in case the mutiny is unsuccessful. Still, plenty of leaders can be convinced that keeping a bad manager around is doing more harm than good.
“When everybody keeps coming and complaining to the powers that be, that’s when they start believing,” he says.
Open the Escape Hatch
Sometimes, it’s just time to go. If your boss seems an anomaly and you like the company, career consultants advise trying an internal switch. Thank your boss for helping you grow, and explain you’d like to expand your skills in another department.
To avoid jumping to another bad boss, inside or outside your company, check on LinkedIn to see whether people have recently left the department you are considering, says Matt Kerr, an executive recruiter in the Chicago area. During interviews, “take notes, take names,” he says, and tap your network for unfiltered feedback on your potential future colleagues.
Ask pointed questions in interviews: What happened to the person who was in the role prior? (If you get different answers from different people, that’s a red flag, Mr. Kerr says.) What’s made folks in the department successful, or not? Watch how leaders treat their administrative assistants.
Mr. Kerr recommends trying to stick it out at a job for at least a year to avoid eliciting questions about your résumé. But everyone’s entitled to one career mulligan, he says.
“Life’s too short to work for jerks,” he adds.
Write to Rachel Feintzeig at [email protected]
Appeared in the July 11, 2022, print edition as 'A Survival Guide For Dealing With A Really Bad Boss'.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-survival-guide-for-dealing-with-a-bad-boss-11657512060?st=nqwsxya79yngztl&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
Work & Life
Life is too short to work for jerks. Here’s what to do when your boss is a micromanager, bully or completely MIA
By Rachel Feintzeig
July 11, 2022 12:01 am ET
They hover over your shoulder, or send you a Slack every 10 minutes to ask about the report that’s not due until next week. They’re a screamer, a bully, an expert at lodging passive-aggressive jabs, generally in front of all your colleagues. Or maybe they’ve just ghosted you, leaving you to figure out the new gig on your own.
As long as there’s been work, there have been people who make it miserable for those underneath them. And the recent spate of job-switching has given rise to some job regret. Desperate for talent, many companies swiftly promoted new, sometimes unproven, managers and at the same time accelerated their hiring processes to snap up prospects before rival employers did, says Cate Luzio, the founder and CEO of professional development organization Luminary.
Saying yes to a job was easy for many recruits while they were being wooed with raises and promotions, she says. Harder was knowing what it would actually be like working for that stranger on the Zoom interview. Nearly three-quarters of adults surveyed this year by The Muse, a job-search and career-coaching company, said they felt surprise or regret after starting a new job.
Ms. Luzio has recently seen workers show up to new gigs only to realize they actually have three bosses, or have managers pull back on promises of remote work. Meanwhile, the boss remains the gatekeeper to everything from choice projects and bonuses to your all-around happiness.
It can get better. Here’s how to survive, change, leave or overthrow your particular type of bad boss, according to those who’ve done it.
The Micromanager
Overbearing bosses can’t bear being unsure of how a project will turn out, and can feel no one else cares as much as they do, says Janet Ahn, a social psychologist and executive at training firm MindGym. This type of boss needs assurance that the work will get done well. Tell them you share their sense of urgency and understand exactly what needs to be done for the task to be considered a success—right down to the font they prefer.
Subtly, you’re communicating, “It’s getting done, you don’t have to watch over me, but I do hear you,” Dr. Ahn says.
Then, flood them with information before they even ask for it. Mary Abbajay, president and co-founder of professional-development company Careerstone Group LLC, recommends sharing frequent status updates—even daily lists of priorities you’re focusing on.
“Become their ally,” she says. “All they need is information and control, so you just give it to them.”
In the moment, it’ll feel awful, she says. But as you build trust, they’ll loosen their grip.
“You gotta find their pain point and cure it,” she says of bad bosses.
The Checked-Out Boss
Maybe they’re busy, or burned out, or just very trusting. In any case, it’s not great having a manager who ignores your questions or is missing when an assignment goes awry.
This boss needs you to take the lead. Be tenacious, Ms. Abbajay says. Book a series of meetings on their calendar, more than you think you need, since they might cancel half, she warns. In the invite, lay out your agenda and follow through. Preferably in 15 minutes or less.
“Be succinct, be clear,” she says. “And be gone.”
Aim to primarily communicate via their favorite medium, whether that’s email, text or in-person. If it’s the latter, keep a running list of all the items where you need their input and carry it around for when you run into them in the office.
Cover yourself, too. If they’ve been MIA while you’re wrapping up a big project, lob over a breezy email noting that it’s due tomorrow at 5 p.m. and you’re attaching a draft, Ms. Abbajay says. Note that if they have any questions they should let you know by 4 p.m.
And branch out. When Dr. Ahn, the social psychologist, was assigned advisers who were aloof and indifferent during her years as a student, she set up coffee dates with other professors and researchers she admired.
“It feels a little vulnerable,” she acknowledges. But forming more connections will help ensure your career keeps moving forward even if your boss isn’t advocating for you.
The Toxic Whirlwind
Could you, should you oust your terrible boss? It’s worth a try, says Robert Sutton, a Stanford University professor who’s written books about working for jerks.
“Employees sometimes forget companies don’t want bad bosses,” Dr. Sutton says.
Start by documenting misbehavior and its impact. Save emails where the boss is spewing demeaning insults. Keep a diary. Record the date, time and what happened. (For example: The boss’s outburst during a meeting sent a colleague to the bathroom in tears.)
Then rally a posse, Dr. Sutton says. Have your colleagues record diaries, too. He recalls an animal-control officer who first went to her boss’s boss to complain about her verbally abusive manager. Nothing happened. Then she and her colleagues went back with their diaries. Suddenly, the team had a new boss.
The key is to find a person in power, ideally someone who has warm relations with a posse member. It’s risky; your group might not have enough pull to prompt change. Prep your résumé and look out for other opportunities too, Dr. Sutton says, in case the mutiny is unsuccessful. Still, plenty of leaders can be convinced that keeping a bad manager around is doing more harm than good.
“When everybody keeps coming and complaining to the powers that be, that’s when they start believing,” he says.
Open the Escape Hatch
Sometimes, it’s just time to go. If your boss seems an anomaly and you like the company, career consultants advise trying an internal switch. Thank your boss for helping you grow, and explain you’d like to expand your skills in another department.
To avoid jumping to another bad boss, inside or outside your company, check on LinkedIn to see whether people have recently left the department you are considering, says Matt Kerr, an executive recruiter in the Chicago area. During interviews, “take notes, take names,” he says, and tap your network for unfiltered feedback on your potential future colleagues.
Ask pointed questions in interviews: What happened to the person who was in the role prior? (If you get different answers from different people, that’s a red flag, Mr. Kerr says.) What’s made folks in the department successful, or not? Watch how leaders treat their administrative assistants.
Mr. Kerr recommends trying to stick it out at a job for at least a year to avoid eliciting questions about your résumé. But everyone’s entitled to one career mulligan, he says.
“Life’s too short to work for jerks,” he adds.
Write to Rachel Feintzeig at [email protected]
Appeared in the July 11, 2022, print edition as 'A Survival Guide For Dealing With A Really Bad Boss'.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-survival-guide-for-dealing-with-a-bad-boss-11657512060?st=nqwsxya79yngztl&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
Work & Life
- Sales tips > try foreshadowing + step stacking linkedin.com 4/13/22
Cultivate a Recruiter before you need one wsj.com
wsj.com
You Should Get to Know a Recruiter Before You Need One—Here’s How - wsj.com
The best time to start building ties with someone who can help find your next job is while you’re still satisfied with your current one.
Kathryn Dill
5-6 minutes
It is hard to network or overhaul your resume in a hurry, and building relationships with recruiters is no different.
Like much else when it comes to career development, the key is to be proactive, hiring professionals say. Even if you aren’t planning to change jobs imminently, you almost definitely will in the future, and maybe sooner than you think.
Building relationships with recruiters now is an investment in that process and a buffer against any unforeseen events that might set it in motion. It can help you recover quickly from a layoff, leave a bad environment or find the best possible fit for your goals and skills as they evolve.
“A lot of job seekers wait until they’re in that reactive panic mode to plant a million seeds, but by the time they come to fruition they’re already frantic,” said New York-based recruiter Laura Mazzullo.
Here’s how to kick off a relationship with a recruiter, even if you’re happy right where you are.
Get clear on what type of recruiter you should connect with.
While recruiters share the broad objective to fill jobs, their responsibilities can vary depending on the employer or client they’re working for. It is important to know which recruiters seek candidates for the types of roles you might be pursuing. External recruiters work for staffing or search firms and often fill roles for a variety of companies.
Corporate recruiters work inside a single organization. Some recruiters focus on sourcing candidates from underrepresented groups or with specialized skill sets. Start by determining whom you should be talking to based on your skills and long-term goals. Check out recruiters’ LinkedIn and Twitter presences and whether they’re active in groups relevant to your industry.
Some recruiters recommended searching for the agencies that source candidates for a particular industry or location and then looking for their recruiters on LinkedIn. A search for terms like #recruitertwitter and #hrcommunity can help turn up these professionals on Twitter.
“A lot of us are interacting in [social media] communities already,” said Sean Page, a recruiter for a fintech startup, “or we’re just out there looking for candidates ourselves.”
Recruiters are people, too. Be kind, don’t waste their time.
The best networking is proactive as opposed to simply transactional. When reaching out to a recruiter, draw on the same interpersonal and communication skills you would use to develop any other relationship.
“You’re a person, I’m a person,” said Mr. Page, who says the most common type of message he receives is a single sentence from job seekers who have seen a role listed and want to know if he can refer them directly. “Unless you’re a close match [for a job], I’m going to give you a response of, ‘Hey, we should keep up in the future,’ or ignore you, because it doesn’t feel like you’re trying to create a relationship.”
When a recruiter responds, be clear about your intentions, even if you aren’t actively job hunting or considering doing so, and be prepared to talk specifically about your experience.
“Be upfront, even if you’re lost,” said recruiter Karen Isaacs, who focuses on filling administrative assistant roles. “Don’t go off on tangents. When I ask a candidate how many people they work for, it should just be on the tip of your tongue: ‘seven execs, three VPs and two analysts.’ ”
Manage your expectations for the future.
Once you’ve connected with a recruiter, ask how they might want to keep in touch going forward.
“ ‘I want to stay on your radar. What’s the best way to do that?’ If you ask 10 recruiters, you’ll get 10 different answers,” said Ms. Mazzullo. Some might prefer a monthly email or a quarterly coffee date. Others may prefer to reach out to you when they have time.
It is crucial to remember that recruiters are looking to fill specific openings, not to find roles for job seekers. But a recruiter getting in touch about a job that isn’t right for you at the moment could be an easy way to kick-start a relationship. So even if you aren’t interested, consider asking them for a conversation anyway.
“Engage. Be honest. Let them know you’re not interested, if you’re comfortable sharing your ‘why,’ ” said Rachel Cupples, a corporate recruiter. “Take a moment and let that recruiter know what you’re interested in for the future. Recruiters change jobs, too—who knows what they’ll have in the future.”
Write to Kathryn Dill at [email protected]
https://www.wsj.com/articles/you-should-get-to-know-a-recruiter-before-you-need-oneheres-how-11638108002?page=1
You Should Get to Know a Recruiter Before You Need One—Here’s How - wsj.com
The best time to start building ties with someone who can help find your next job is while you’re still satisfied with your current one.
Kathryn Dill
5-6 minutes
It is hard to network or overhaul your resume in a hurry, and building relationships with recruiters is no different.
Like much else when it comes to career development, the key is to be proactive, hiring professionals say. Even if you aren’t planning to change jobs imminently, you almost definitely will in the future, and maybe sooner than you think.
Building relationships with recruiters now is an investment in that process and a buffer against any unforeseen events that might set it in motion. It can help you recover quickly from a layoff, leave a bad environment or find the best possible fit for your goals and skills as they evolve.
“A lot of job seekers wait until they’re in that reactive panic mode to plant a million seeds, but by the time they come to fruition they’re already frantic,” said New York-based recruiter Laura Mazzullo.
Here’s how to kick off a relationship with a recruiter, even if you’re happy right where you are.
Get clear on what type of recruiter you should connect with.
While recruiters share the broad objective to fill jobs, their responsibilities can vary depending on the employer or client they’re working for. It is important to know which recruiters seek candidates for the types of roles you might be pursuing. External recruiters work for staffing or search firms and often fill roles for a variety of companies.
Corporate recruiters work inside a single organization. Some recruiters focus on sourcing candidates from underrepresented groups or with specialized skill sets. Start by determining whom you should be talking to based on your skills and long-term goals. Check out recruiters’ LinkedIn and Twitter presences and whether they’re active in groups relevant to your industry.
Some recruiters recommended searching for the agencies that source candidates for a particular industry or location and then looking for their recruiters on LinkedIn. A search for terms like #recruitertwitter and #hrcommunity can help turn up these professionals on Twitter.
“A lot of us are interacting in [social media] communities already,” said Sean Page, a recruiter for a fintech startup, “or we’re just out there looking for candidates ourselves.”
Recruiters are people, too. Be kind, don’t waste their time.
The best networking is proactive as opposed to simply transactional. When reaching out to a recruiter, draw on the same interpersonal and communication skills you would use to develop any other relationship.
“You’re a person, I’m a person,” said Mr. Page, who says the most common type of message he receives is a single sentence from job seekers who have seen a role listed and want to know if he can refer them directly. “Unless you’re a close match [for a job], I’m going to give you a response of, ‘Hey, we should keep up in the future,’ or ignore you, because it doesn’t feel like you’re trying to create a relationship.”
When a recruiter responds, be clear about your intentions, even if you aren’t actively job hunting or considering doing so, and be prepared to talk specifically about your experience.
“Be upfront, even if you’re lost,” said recruiter Karen Isaacs, who focuses on filling administrative assistant roles. “Don’t go off on tangents. When I ask a candidate how many people they work for, it should just be on the tip of your tongue: ‘seven execs, three VPs and two analysts.’ ”
Manage your expectations for the future.
Once you’ve connected with a recruiter, ask how they might want to keep in touch going forward.
“ ‘I want to stay on your radar. What’s the best way to do that?’ If you ask 10 recruiters, you’ll get 10 different answers,” said Ms. Mazzullo. Some might prefer a monthly email or a quarterly coffee date. Others may prefer to reach out to you when they have time.
It is crucial to remember that recruiters are looking to fill specific openings, not to find roles for job seekers. But a recruiter getting in touch about a job that isn’t right for you at the moment could be an easy way to kick-start a relationship. So even if you aren’t interested, consider asking them for a conversation anyway.
“Engage. Be honest. Let them know you’re not interested, if you’re comfortable sharing your ‘why,’ ” said Rachel Cupples, a corporate recruiter. “Take a moment and let that recruiter know what you’re interested in for the future. Recruiters change jobs, too—who knows what they’ll have in the future.”
Write to Kathryn Dill at [email protected]
https://www.wsj.com/articles/you-should-get-to-know-a-recruiter-before-you-need-oneheres-how-11638108002?page=1
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